Thursday, April 22, 2010

A New Beginning

A New Beginning *cue flutes and such*

*and maybe trumpets*

*think Star Wars music, but more Days of Our Lives-y*


Hello, friends! Don't leave just because this is a new blog and you've never heard of me; I assure you, I'm gonna make this worth your visit.

(And if you should decide to leave, know that I track IP addresses and don't take kindly to people who abandon me without giving me a chance, so DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE YET, I MEAN IT.)

Okay, so the whole, "I'm gonna make this worth your visit" thing might have been a little optimistic this time around, but if you keep coming back, one of these days - I mean years in the future - you'll be all like, "wow, Shirley, do you remember the first day I found Gina's blog and left when it didn't have much on it? And then those ninja-type guys with no faces came to my house and implanted the dog with a chip and he laid by the door and gave me the stink eye until his heart just stopped one day? And then the whole Homeland Security investigation thing when the doggy cremation people found the chip? And then remember how the whole thing just completely went away after I went back to the blog? That was awesome."

So the question is, do you really want to tie up the resources of Homeland Security for the sake of checking your Twitter again? For, like, the twentieth time today? That would be irresponsible, because the fate of the United States is more important than what Jessica Simpson misspelled for breakfast. Not to mention, what did your dog ever do to deserve this?
Don't be so selfish.

See you tomorrow, kids.