Last night at 10:30, as I was fruitlessly channel-surfing, my husband asked why I wasn't watching Canadian Idol. It then occurred to me - that's actually a pretty good question, for a lot of Canadians.
I am a rabid American Idol fan. I watch it religiously, anticipating the start of the season, analyzing every performance, critiquing and praising the appropriate contestants and judges. I may not be a music expert, but when it comes to that show, I defy you to tell me I'm anything but. When the season is over, my television psyche always feels just a tiny bit empty and under-stimulated. The Canadian Idol season begins right after American Idol ends, so it would seem to be a natural transition, wouldn't it? Yet, for some reason, though I have sporadically watched a season or two, I've never been able to enjoy our Canadian version nearly as much.
You have to give it to them - the Canadian Idol people try extremely hard to make their show as much like AI as possible. And on paper, the two are strikingly similar. The opening music, the million audition blooper episodes, the metrosexual host, big-name guests, the obnoxious judge. But there is something lacking in the Canuck counterpart that the Americans have mastered --- production value.
AI performances (after the herd has been thinned) are taped at a huge studio in Los Angeles; the same one, in fact, that is used by Deal or No Deal, Dancing With The Stars and formerly Hollywood Squares. This is not an impressive fact in and of itself, but when you compare that studio with the dorm-room feel of the John Bassett Theatre in Toronto where CI is taped, the difference is glaringly noticeable. Couple this with the grandiose AI finale at the prestigious Kodak Theatre, and us Canadians look more like folks putting on a variety concert in a school gymnasium.
Then you look at the judges' credentials.
Simon Cowell is a record executive, behind several multi-million dollar grossing musical acts, and responsible for over 70 number one records.
Randy is a Grammy winner, producer for some of music's most well-known and successful stars, and the head of A&R and talent scouting at one of the biggest record labels in the United States.
Paula, as much as we might hate to admit it, has sold over 30 million albums, won numerous industry awards, and holds us all guilty of tapping our foot to at least one of her hits over the years.
And who do we have?
Farley Flex, who was a well-known radio personality (supposedly) and who is responsible for the likes of Maestro Fresh Wes. Nice one.
Jake Gold takes credit for the Tragically Hip, which I suppose is seen by some as an accomplishment, but could also be a stroke of luck, considering his success since.
Sass Jordan had a few songs which I'm sure are considered hits by her and those who like her, but her biggest similarity to Paula is her over-medicated rambling and MILF appeal.
And Zack Werner, while trying desperately to embody the spirit of Simon Cowell, is merely using big words and being rude to deflect attention away from his own failed music career.
Granted, I may seem to be rather critical of our homegrown judges, but I think results speak for themselves. Winners, even runners-up, of AI have sold millions of albums worldwide, won Oscars, and are enjoying careers in every area of the entertainment industry. Can you name two winners of Canadian Idol? Do you own any of their albums? Could you even pick them out of a lineup? Most people can't. The Canadian judges just can't seem to pick 'em like the US trio. Either they don't have the same eye for star quality, or they're not looking for it at all. I can't name two Canadian Idol contestants, winners included, who would have even made the top 24 of American Idol. Eva Avila might have sneaked through day one the first round, but the rest would have been home in tears an hour after their first audition. Can you picture the likes of Ryan Malcolm getting past Simon Cowell?
And don't even get me started on the band. Orin Issacs (of "Mike Bullard" fame, for those of you who remember) and his squad don't even hold a candle to Ricky Minor and the American Idol house band. Watching AI performances, with spot-on reditions, professional musicians and sometimes full orchestra, makes CI shows look like open-mic at your local coffee house. It's really quite sad.
But I think the biggest problem has to do with the talent pool.
Now before you all get your bloomers in a bunch, I'm not saying that there is less talent in Canada than in the States. I know that to be false, or at least I believe it to be false. In Cape Breton alone there are hundreds of people who would put on a better show than Kelly Clarkson any day of the week. The problem has to do with American vanity and Canadian simplicity.
Americans are obsessed with celebrity. The women spend thousands trying to look more like the Pussycat Dolls. Even men are going out to get abdominal implants to look more Brad Pitt-ish. Canadians are image-consumers too, but not to nearly the same extent as our Southern neighbors. Everyone in America wants to be a star. Worse yet, lots of them think they ARE stars who just haven't been discovered yet. That's why you see so many thousands of scantily-clad teenies flock to the auditions down South, ever-so-confident in their talent, however mediocre it may be. When given the opportunity, they'll splash their bits across the screen, in hopes of garnering enough public acceptance to generate the almighty dollar. Works like a charm, too. The United States has an audience full of these people, people who will lap up all the showing off, the strip-teasing, the lights, camera & action of it all. Canada has these people as well - I'm guilty as charged. But, on the whole, Canada is different than the States. Canadian auditions don't have the same percentage of pre-pubescent teens writhing around to "Like A Virgin." More of them are singing melodic tunes to showcase their voice moreso than their potential sex appeal. A lot of the time, the contestants pick classic Canadian tunes. Most of the kids are modest, appreciative of praise, and accepting of rejection, however disappointing it may be. Very seldom do we see a bitter contestant swearing and vowing their revenge next year. It's a different attitude, a different mindset, a different industry.
And the problem with this? The Canadian Idol people are trying to market their show too much like American Idol, and the result comes off as a cheap, campy imitation. We don't have the market to support a Britney or Christina in Canada. I don't think our culture is interested. A Nelly Furtado? Shania? I guess so, but those two are flukes. "Proud Canadians" who live in Los Angeles. Who had the personal and business contacts to infiltrate the U.S. and rarely look back, save for a few magazine interviews. Canadians take more pride in the Jimmy Rankins, Natalie McMasters, and Gordie Sampsons - the people who, though they may travel, always know, and will proudly and unabashedly admit, where they came from. No one wants to invest their time, interest, and loyalty on another flash-in-the-pan Mandy-Moore-wannabe, who is bound to fall on her face as soon as the show has ended it's season. There are people who watch Canadian Idol, but it will never reach the same heights as it's American counterpart. Until they change the forum from pop to rock or traditional music, it will always be just another failed attempt to Americanize our country - and I dont think people want that as much as they think they do. Not unless it's done right, which Canadian Idol is not.
Some may argue that Canadian Idol is the most popular show in the history of Canadian television, and they're right, it does have plenty of viewers. (So does Corner Gas, and I wouldn't be too quick to classify that as a pop culture juggernaut either....but I digress...) It's the follow-through that counts with a show like this. Every Canadian man, woman and child could watch every week - but if nobody goes out and buys the impending album, what's the point? It's defeating the whole purpose. What good is supporting and rooting for a contestant, voting till your fingers are numb, and then forgetting about them as soon as you turn off the TV? That's what Americans do differently: the majority of people are voting for the person who's music they want to hear, who they're willing to invest in, and the voting has resulted in the creation of musical sensations. In Canada, we vote for "that sweet little girl from New Brunswick"...or "insert home province here." We're caught up in the novelty of watching all the kids get on the stage and being able to decide the winner. We're not nearly as concerned over who the best singer is, or whether they have a legitimate chance at a music career. It's the same thing year after year after year, and it's getting very old.
Until Sass decides to kick it up a notch and starts making out with one of the contestants, until a Speedo-clad Ben Mulrooney gets in a wrestling match onstage with Farley, until they hire a drag-queen to pole dance in the corner and bang a gong after a crappy performance....Canadian Idol just won't hold my attention. I'll continue watching American Idol, marvelling at the pomp and chauvinism of it all, and being thoroughly entertained. I even bought the Chris Daughtry album.
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